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For the next 30 years, we work all day long, suffer and get to support the family.How do you know there's a seismosaurus under your bed?Because your nose is two inches from the ceiling!.It was sole destroying.What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved.On the second day, God created the dog.In their study, participants either made or received sarcastic comments or made or received sincere ones.Peter looked surprised and said, "Well, that wasn't the answer I was looking for, but you have a point.They warned her about going out and gettinghalf-baked, so she wouldn’t get accidentally mashed,and get a bad name for herself like ‘Hot Potato,’ andend up with a bunch of Tater Tots.But these numbers can (and should) be larger.) But you can still incorporate levity into your work life by doing something simple: appreciating other people’s humor.

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But after the end of the service, when he went to shake the pastor's hand, he pulled out the five dollar bill and gave it to the pastor.What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.Two fish are in a tank.Have you heard the joke about the bed? It hasn’t been made up yet.I don’t see him as a fool.But share them we must, because there's something about repeating raunchy jokes that make us feel more alive.Why did Goofy put a clock under his desk? Because he wanted to work over-time!.But the research on this kind of humor is clear: When group cohesion is important, tell jokes that everyone can understand.” The man objected.com/photos/29233640@N07/4461633306/.Did you see him whining that people hate his whining?.“An Idaho!” said Mother Potato with joy.

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Funny thoughts and jokes.Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It’s fine, he woke up.Q:  Why is a bad joke like a pencil? A:  Because it has no point.I wish I had been born in a barn, too, because then, when my mother says to me, "Close the door.Participants presented with the funny stimulus reported fewer negative emotions than did participants presented with the nonhumorous one.“I think” said the sweet potato, “therefore I yam”.Boss -What time will you get here?Me - Monday.Get a laugh at the best (or, rather, worst) one-liners that humanity can think up.Why did the belt go to jail? Because it held up a pair of pants!.What kind of dog tells time? A watch dog!.One study by Andrea Samson (University of Fribourg) and James Gross (Stanford) found that positive, good-natured humor in response to bad news made people feel better, but negative, dark, or mean-spirited jokes made them feel worse.

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Cop: "He's got the Pope for a limo driver!".This pattern continued throughout the day with the priest blessing the forehead of a long shot horse, the Southern Baptist placing larger and larger bets and the horse always winning.I said maybe.So I tossed a coin," said Bobby.Then God turned to the lone man and asked, "How did you come to be in this line?".Q: What did the pencil say to the paper? A: Write on!.After a short hesitation, he replied,"I am transferring from the Municipal Golf Course.“If you are a white woman and you’ve got a white man, stop having sex with that white man.As Rick sits on a couch watching television, he barks orders at beings under Unity’s control, saying “Okay, now make ‘em cry.What’s E.What did Geronimo say when he jumped out of the airplane? ME!!!.

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100 funny jokes by 100 comedians Previous slide Next slide 1 of 101 View All Skip Ad.six − 3 = 5 Comments.Learn more about working with Thought Catalog.Yours respectfully, A.Destroying family units helps advance Marxism.A decade-plus CinemaBlend veteran; endlessly enthusiastic about the career he’s dreamt of since seventh grade.Yes, it's time to talk about dad jokes.During a roundtable video discussion for The Hollywood Reporter, Haddish was asked by the moderator how, as the self-proclaimed “administrator of joy,” she could be funny during this difficult moment in American history.” -Elbert Hubbard.He would sit in his chair in the living room reading the paper and my stepmonster would be in the kitchen yelling all day long about cleaning stuff."Oh, I've been to a Baptist church, a Methodist church, a Lutheran church and an Episcopal church.

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Q:  Why did the girl throw a stick of butter? A:  She wanted to see a butter fly.” The ….Q: What gets wetter the more it dries? A: A towel!.However, that wasn't enough to keep the flying insects away, as some fireflies had made it into the cabin with them.A man walked into his house and was delighted when he discovered that someone had stolen all of his lamps.Funny sayings can add wisdom and humor to your daily tasks.In charge of the two grandkiddos for the afternoon.Because accompanying criticism with humor softens the feedback, it detracts from getting the point across when the issue is not obvious.What did Geronimo say when he jumped out of the airplane? ME!!!.I call it lunch.'The public have an insatiable curiosity to know everything, except what is worth knowing.They’re always on the lookout for a tight seal.He earned his Masters degree from Columbia University.